Why 16 year old girls should not drive

So, I'm at the Food Lion, Li'l Keller is strapped in the back seat. I start backing out of my parking space. I feel a bump. Let me restate that. I feel a bump. No, that's not quite it either. I feel a _ . That's about it. I get out, there is an Acura Integra parked behind the Time Machine, and it looks like we both tried to back out at once. I think we were each moving at 1 mph. I look at my car. No damage. The hit might have knocked off some dirt. I look at the other car. 6-inch black mark, mostly along a bumper sticker. No big deal. The driver rolls down the window and looks out; it's this 16 year old girl. She's already on the cell phone. Hasn't even looked at her car yet, hasn't even spoken to me yet. After waiting through five minutes of sobbing, she gets out of the car. I have already had time to go back to my car, get the paper work and come back. She gets out, looks at the mark (and I use "mark" very lightly here, emphasis on the light) and the tears start again. She calls her mom again. More crying, through the sniffles I hear "gash" and "not my fault" and "police". My interest is piqued. Had I not had a dentist appointment in 30 minutes, I would have GLADLY waited for the police. The look on their faces would have been priceless. They would have laughed her out of the lot. Really. But I have places to go. I have things to do. And I am getting annoyed.

Discretion being the better part of valor, I avoid showing my annoyance, hoping to move the process along. I have my insurance card in my hand. She has a cell-phone and nothing else. Not sure what a cell phone is going to do to move the process along. Then she calls what I assume was her job, telling them she was going to be late, like an hour or so. An hour? For a 6 inch scuff mark on a bumper?

Five more minutes go by. Mom calls again. I hear " I don't know". She looks up at me and says "How old are you." I say "Thirty-one". She says, to the phone "Thirty-one". The phone is pushed in my face "My mom wants to talk to you."

"Hello?" I say
"Hello." Comes the response
"So, we had a little bump here" I say
"How bad is it?"
"Not bad at all" I say "No damage on my car. Looks like she knocked some dirt off my bumper, that's it. There's a black mark on her car. That's all I see."
"No damage on your car?" She asks
"None. There's a black scuff mark on her car though" I say.
"Does the black mark come off when you rub it?" she asks?
I rub at her bumper "Nope. It's a scratch" I say.
"How bad" she says again.
"6 inches, most of it is on a bumper sticker. Nothing else that I can see."
"Is it cracked?"
"Nope"
"Any other damage?"
"Nope"
"How did this happen?"
"We were parked behind one another, both backed out at the same time. We ended up in the same place at the same time. That's all"
"What do you want to do about this?"
"I have my insurance card right here. If there is any damage, we can let insurance handle it. But it doesn't look like there is anything to fix here. It's a black mark."
"Give the phone back to my daughter"
"Buh-bye"
"Bye"

The girl takes the phone, gets back in the car. More crying. After 5 more minutes, Li'l Keller is crying too. I want to cry. It sucks. I still have my paperwork in my hand. She has produced nothing yet. Finally, I see her rumaging around in the car. We have insurance papers! Yeah! I get a pen and paper; she has a pen and paper. We start to exchange info. She goes back in the car. More phone calls. More crying. After five MORE minutes, she comes back out with the info. We return everything back to each other. "Are we done" I say? "Um..." she says. Phone call to mom again. Back in the car. I wait some more. "Yeah..." she finally says "I guess we are done".

Parents, teach your children how to deal with adverse and stressful situations. Yes, when cars bump it can be stressful. But what should have been a five-minute transaction where we exchanged information... (actually what should have been a one-minute transaction where we looked at each others, shrugged, said "eh..." and went on our way) lasted over 40 minutes and made me miss my dental appointment. If you can't take any independant action on your own without calling your mother, you shouldn't be driving. Don't let this happen to your children...